Feb 22, 2009

For Posterity: How Shit Happens

THIS is something I've been wanting to post here for a while but which completely evaded my puny memory for the past couple of years. It's for anyone who's ever worked for a large company where the most insane and inane ideas routinely get turned into everyday practice (I'm looking at you, Dilbert).

In the beginning was the plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan was completely without substance
And darkness was upon the faces of the workers
And they spake unto their marketing managers, saying `it is a pot of manure, and it stinketh'
And the marketing managers went unto the strategists and saith,
`It is a pile of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof'.
And the strategists went unto the business managers and saith
`It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong and such that none may abide by it'.
And the business managers went unto the director and saith,
`It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength'.
And the director went to the vice president and saith,
`It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong'.
And the vice president went unto the senior vice president and saith,
`It promoteth growth, and it is powerful'.
And the senior vice president went unto the president and saith,
`This powerful new plan will actively promote growth and efficiency of the company and the business in general'.
And the president looked upon the plan and saw that it was good
And the plan became policy

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